Simple Serenity

Hello Friends!

This is the first time I have ever written a review for any product before. I bought these items at first to support a friend in her growing business. I'm writing the review because quite honestly, I'm blown away. 

I'm not 100% sure how to write a review properly, but I'll do my best, and hopefully do these products justice.

Named after the owner's little girl, the business name is Simple Serenity. Each product offered is hand made,100% natural, and comes in several flavors/ scents to choose from.Their philosophy is, "If you can't eat it, don't put it on your skin." Simple. 

I started out placing a small order for three basic items I use every day.

1. Soap

2. Lotion 

3. Lip Balm

Milky Lavender Oval Bar

Cost: $5.00

Ingredients: Ingredients: Soybean oil, Cottonseed Oil, Lye, Milk, Lavender Blossoms, Oatmeal, Essential and Fragrance Oil.

I used the bar on me by itself. First thing I noticed was the lather. It wasn't too much and the bar didn't get slippery, which I liked. The texture was interesting. It was the slightest bit course because of the oatmeal and had an exfoliating quality to it. It actually got into  my skin and I felt clean after using it. Bonus- I felt like I was giving my skin a massage. That wasn't meant to sound creepy. I know it did though. Oh well. Lastly, the scent was AMAZING. Fresh lavender. Enough said. 

Whipped Body Butter (4 oz.)

Cost: $7.50

Ingredients: Shea butter, coconut oil, Sweet Almond oil and Vitamin E

I used this immediately after my shower. It almost "melts" into your skin. It's nice. I'm currently 5 1/2 months pregnant so my stomach is...growing to put it lightly. I am already getting stretch marks..which itch. (yayyyy!) But I applied the body butter and haven't scratched my stomach once tonight. I have however felt it several times because it's soft and has a nice dewy feeling to it. I may or may not have used more than necessary. It just feels so nice on my skin. Again..creepy. My bad.

Peppermint Lip Balm

Cost: $6.00

Ingredients: Coconut Oil, Sweet Almond Oil, Beeswax, Vitamin E, Essential oils.

I will start off by saying I have used the same lip balm for three years. I don't use anything else, ever. But just for the heck of it I decided to order one to try and if all else failed, let my daughter play with. Well, turns out she won't be playing with it because I now have a new favorite lip balm. I ordered the peppermint flavor. The scent isn't too strong which is nice. It smells like fresh peppermint. If you haven't ever smelled fresh peppermint, go smell some. It's amazing. It goes on smooth and is not gooey or thick. Even my old favorite lip balm was a little too thick. This stuff is amazingly moisturizing and you almost forget your wearing it until you rub your lips together. Because it absorbs right away. A nice thin layer of balm is all you need. It's light, smooth, and smells delicious. 

 Bonus- My daughter loves it too. I bought the tin so she doesn't try to shove the entire thing in her mouth. Win, win, win.

I am very happy with the three items I purchased and will for sure be placing another order very soon. Not just for me but for several women in my family. I encourage anybody who appreciates high quality bath and body products to order from Simple Serenity right HERE.

What started out as a favor to a friend turned into me thanking her for her awesome products I'll use again and again. Check her out on Facebook and be sure to "Like" her page! Now. Do it now!

http://www.facebook.com/Simple.Serenity.BB.Solutions

http://simpleserenitybbsolu.wix.com/simple-serenity#!lip-balm/c1ibp

Nobody likes depression.

Nobody likes to talk about depression. Or perhaps, some people do. I however, do not. But I'll tell you something. Lately, I have been depressed. More than depressed, I have felt hopeless. I could easily lay in my bed all day long and stare a hole in the ceiling. Today was especially hard. I felt pain in my chest all day long..like a hole. There was a hole in my heart. I feel like I have been carrying more than I can bare and now, someone is sitting on me. Not even my daughter's giggle makes it go away. Which means it's serious. Because her giggle makes everything go away.
 I'm going to unload on you guys for a moment here..but I promise not for long.
Some of you may know that on top of the other issues I've had with my pregnancy, I recently discovered that my son has what is called a single artery umbilical chord. This can cause many issues, such as heart failure, kidney problems, low birth weight, and developmental issues. It all stems from the baby not getting the nutrients and oxygen needed in the womb. Now, I'm not trying to be dramatic. 75% of all babies born with this are totally fine. But less than 1% of all women in the United States deal with SUA and less than 1% of all women in the United States have cervical incompetence. So it seems odds are not my friend.

On top my extremely high risk pregnancy, my husband is still looking for work (almost 3 months, yayyyyy!) and to make things even more complicated, I'm having insurance issues.
To make a long story short I called the pharmacy today to refill my progesterone (pregnancy hormones) and was told that I would have to pay cash if I needed my prescription while they got things figured out in the mean time. And without going into too much detail, I really need this prescription. It's helping my body maintain my pregnancy. I asked the woman how much it'd cost and she told me..
 "$104.76"
I can't afford that. But I have to have it, so I'll cut corners in the rest of our finances to make it work.
In the several hours between making that phone call to Walgreens and going to actually pick up my prescription I had about 15 different break downs. All on the inside. And then when my husband came home from an interview I gave him our daughter and melted into my bed. I told God I was done.
I've been crying out for a long time here, I've been wandering the desert in search of water and I feel like I've just had sand  thrown in my face. I don't need God to fix my entire life. I just need the reassuring water of His Love to wash me for just a second. I just need one sip of water. Then I'll carry on. But so far, I've had none. It's been dry.
I called my husband into our room after telling God "we're through" and with puffy red eyes and tears still streaming down my face I told him that we had to get ready for dinner at my mom's house.
On the way to her house we stopped at the pharmacy to get my prescription and while waiting in the drive through line I was venting non-stop to my husband about how all the injustice in the world is ruining me. I want to see God's goodness so I can pass along that very hope that saved me to someone else. But everywhere I look I see cancer, starving kids, rape, human trafficking, drugs, the list goes on. I just want to see a little bit of goodness.
We pull our car forward as it's our turn and the woman picks up the phone intercom and says "If you pay for this, your state medical will stop your health care all together. They'll think you can afford this prescription."
"But I can't afford it. I will have to cut corners with the rest of my budget this month, but I have to have this. If I don't take it I can go into labor right away. It's serious." I told her.
She just looked at me. I knew she felt bad for me and she walked away. I started to cry, again.
"I just need a break. I can't handle this load anymore." I told my husband.
As I'm muffling my snot sobs the pharmacy manager comes over with a look in his eyes.
"Look, we've already sent through a request to your insurance and marked it as urgent. If I take your money they'll think you can pay for this and I know you can't. So I'm giving you a couple, and if it's not taken care of by the time you run out, come back. I will take care of you."
I wept. Something physically happened in my heart. It was like a tiny light was clicked on in the darkness of that hole I was telling you about before.
"Thank you, thank you. You don't understand."
He really didn't understand. I needed that. Not sand. Water. He gave me water. He was a man dressed in white, with a lisp, and big heart. He helped me.
I know I sound like I complain a lot. But I can't describe what has been done to my heart This Year. That's what I call it, "This Year" because it's been a lump of tragic events that all run together that's changed my life and my perspective. All I see is pain. Not just my own, but everyone's. Hungry hands, abused children, tired eyes, broken hearts, sick kids, mourning mothers. It's all I see.
But tonight, for the first time in a long time, I saw Him. In a way so small but meant so much.
And He sees hungry hands and abused children, tired eyes, broken hearts, sick kids and mourning mothers. He sees it. And more than He sees it, He feels it. He catches each tear, He feels each heart break.. And more than the temporary justice I want for them in this life, He wants eternal justice. He will feed them, He will heal them. He is high and lofty, but lowly and humble in spirit. And when I have only sand, He will give me water. Sometimes just enough to leave me needing more. And when I need more, He will give it to me.

Isaiah 57:15
For this is what the high and lofty One says--he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Henry Jordan. My son.

Yesterday, for a few minutes I saw you wiggle. I saw your tiny feet dance and your little legs kick. I saw your itty bitty belly and the obvious evidence that you are indeed, a boy. For five minutes I imagined what it'd be like to have you in my arms. Without the fear that my body might reject you before you get the chance to thrive. I need you to make it. Do you understand me? Now that I know who you are, Henry. I can not imagine February coming and going without you. You have to stay in mommy's tummy for a 19 more weeks. They told my body may be doing what it did when I was pregnant with your sister. But I wanted you so badly, I had surgery to help keep you inside my tummy. And right now I'm laying on my side. I have been for weeks. I want to give you every chance possible. Because I need to buy you a blue car seat, and baseball hats, and little toy cars. I need to. I need you. You have to fight in this family, for a chance. I do it, your daddy does it, your sister did it, and now it's your turn. But if you are anything like your big sister, you'll make it just fine. Hold on tight sweet heart. I love you.

An open letter to my husband, Jordan.

Dear Jordan,

This morning Gracie woke up at 7:30. I know you were exhausted, but you rolled out of bed without a word. I got up to use the bathroom and found you making her breakfast, with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on and Gracie sitting in front of the TV happy as a clam watching it. You did dishes, laundry, and just left WITH  our one and a half year old to Wal-Mart for groceries and a few household items. Let me just say, thank you. I don't even like going to Wal-Mart alone with our toddler. You made coffee, bought more coffee, then drank a Red Bull. I know, it's exhausting. But you haven't complained once. I know that when you get home, you'll change her diaper, put away groceries, and probably read her a book you can recite without looking because she always wants you to read her the same book. "Everybody grows a nose! I see a nose on every face, I seen noses every place. A nose between each pair of eyes, noses noses every size!"

 You know I am not supposed to do, well, anything. 

You don't give me crap for being on bed rest, you don't make me feel like a failure for not being able to "do pregnancy" like most women, you even THANK me for taking bed rest seriously. Because I'm "giving our children a chance.." You make certain I don't feel worthless.

 Not to mention you give me a back rub every night. I know you hate it..but you still do it.  Thanks for that.

You spend all of your "extra" time (as if you have any) looking up your options for school so our family has a chance at a better future, going to interviews, and job searching like a maniac. Since you lost your job, you haven't wasted a single day. You really have had to do it all since this round of bed rest began. I mean, really. You've done everything, without complaint. Thanks for that.

You speak wisdom and peace over me every time I begin to worry. Whenever I break down about missing my dad, you hug me and talk me down from hysterics, even if it happens in the middle of a movie. You pause it until I'm done. Thanks for that too.

You make late night runs to 7/11 for sunflower seeds because I crave them, you dance with our daughter every single day because it's her favorite thing to do, you shovel dog poop, clean up baby poop, and you do every other house hold chore there is. But most of all, you support my dreams and you believe in me. You do everything a man should do and have grown into everything a husband should be. You have a tender heart full of compassion and conviction. I can honestly say you  come just about as close to perfect there is. I mean that. 

 We parent together. We make all of our decisions together. We have done it all, together. I've never been alone, because of you.  You have stood along side me throughout the past five years, when others would have left because it got too hard. You stayed. Not only have you stayed, you never even wavered. You're a rock.

 Who would have thought we'd suffer so much to get here? To this place. To this house, with this love, with these amazing children. Who would have thought we could do it?

You were a 16 year old boy at summer camp. And now you are the best man I know. 

My protector, my best friend, the world's best father and husband. Jordan, I love you. Words fail when I try to express how much. You are absolutely amazing.

Thank you for that. 

Love, 

Your extremely grateful wife.

Restoring Hope

 These last couple of years have been very difficult for me and for my family. I've told you this. I have literally stood nose to nose with death more times than I care to remember, I have struggled for the life of my children, and more than I thought possible I have been disappointed.
After so many trials I have sort of started to give up hope. I've held on to my knowledge of God but slowly let go of my faith in His goodness. I stopped believing He wanted good things for me. I stopped reading my Bible, the words that I once drank in every day to sustain me were now pointless to me. Why read it? Why believe it? If it doesn't change the outcome, why drag myself through the process?
The last couple of months, every time something bad happens I just think to myself,
 "That sounds about right. Why not? Life on this earth sucks. I'll behold Goodness when I get to Heaven. Until then, I give up."

After I held my father's hand and prayed fervently, full of belief, over his body and he still died- I just quit. Like God wasn't worth pursing because He didn't do what I wanted him to do. It didn't matter that my dad smoked his entire life, and that this world is fallen so bad things happen. Nobody was to blame but God. Because He could have fixed this. That's what I felt anyways.
So when I got word my Grandfather was dying, I knew he would die. When I got word my father in law had cancer, I muttered a prayer that God would just save his soul before he died. Because I knew too, that he would die. When I held my husband's Grandmother's hand in the hospital I prayed for her soul, not her body. Even when I did pray for her body, I knew God would take her. My prayers started to dwindle almost to nothing. At night all I could pray was,
"God, I don't know what you are going to do. But please.. just help somehow."
When my husband lost his job. I don't even think I prayed..maybe I did a few times. But with zero expectation. When I had my surgery, I had zero expectation. For all I knew, I would come out with no baby. My hope was gone. Somewhere along the ride, it'd been lost.
To be really honest, I'm growing sick of feeling hopeless. When did God lose his worth? When did He alone quit being the prize? When did chasing Him for Him alone, become not worth it?
Never. He never quit being worth it. I'm here on this earth for relationship with Him. My heart's true desire is to love Him until the very end. And if in the end I die alone, with no roof over my head but a heart full of love for the Lord and a life spent proclaiming His goodness and Love for all people then I have all I need.
We Christians are sort of crazy like that. We believe that that when Jesus died on the cross, to cover the sins of man, that He alone became worth it. Because His love for us brought Him to a bloody death, He is worth it.

The other night I just broke down. I prayed something along the lines of,
"God humble me. I want to want You even if it benefits me nothing. If I lose it all, I still want you. And Lord give me expectation again. When You place something before me and call it mine, let me claim it. Let me be excited for it to be mine. I want to trust You again. All good things come from You, and I want no credit. So Lord please give Jordan a job and help me carry this baby. Keep my children safe and growing. And let it be by Your hand alone. Because I want everyone to see You move."

The next two days Jordan got three job interviews. One of them for the job of his dreams. Now, I'm not saying "God gave me this, so He is good." Because believe me, God could give me nothing and still be good. He is good. My point here is that God wants to move. He always wants to move. And when things don't go my way, and I lose more than I know how to handle, He is still worth loving. I will behold goodness when I get to Heaven. But He also died so that I could behold Goodness here in this life too.

I read this scriptures during the perfect time. Take from them what you will. To me, they help restore my faith  in God's heart towards us. His selfless, giving, unrelenting heart. He is a giver.

^{John 14: 16-17} 
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— ¹⁷ the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

John 17: 1-5

 After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. ² For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. ³ Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. ⁴ I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. ⁵ And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Doubting Sarah.

A couple of days ago I had my cerclage placed. I woke up in recovery coughing non stop. I felt like someone slit my throat and asked, "Why can't I stop coughing?"
Casually the nurse replied "Oh we had to intubate you, your body stopped breathing because of the anesthesia." 
Oh neat-o. No big deal.
 All that day and the next day I felt like I got hit by a truck. Non stop headaches, sleeping, and feeling like the world's crappiest mother as my toddler threw herself at my feet with tears in her eyes begging me to pick her up. But I can't pick her up. Because I have a stitch in my cervix. My husband has been playing Mr. Mom, bless his heart. This morning I woke up feeling well rested with no headaches for the first time in two days. 
However...
All day I've had pressure in my lower stomach. It's finally subsided. I'm hoping it was just trapped gas and nothing to worry about. My OB called and checked on me just to see how I'm feeling. I could have just said,
 "Well Doctor. I'm sick of the fear my children are going to literally die because my body doesn't know how to function properly. I'm afraid that every time I go to the freaking bathroom to pee I'm going to see blood. If something happens to this baby because of my body's lack of ability to hold my most precious possessions, I'll never have a child again. Ever. "
 But instead I just said "I'm fine, thank you for asking."
I think I've sort of told God what I wanted to tell my Doctor without actually saying "Hey God....." 
I just think its knowing He can hear me. Like saying that is going to change anything. I don't want to threaten God. What in the world would that do besides make me like, really stupid? Nothing. It would do nothing. My goal for this pregnancy is to learn to trust God again. I feel like so many terrible things have happened to me this year that it wouldn't be far fetched that I lose someone else. But I don't think that's God's heart for me. I don't. Not only do I not think it...I know it. I know in my heart of hearts that God is good. And that he gave me this baby. And only by His hand will I have this baby. I want a full term healthy pregnancy. That is the desire of my heart. And maybe I'm just saying this in faith, but I think God is going to give me that. Because He loves to bless His children. And I'm His daughter. 
I haven't told many people this...actually I've never mentioned it because at the time I didn't realize it's significance. 
Back when Gracie was about six months old, I was reading in Genesis. I was reading about Sarah. You know, Abraham's doubting wife Sarah. 

I read this passage from Genesis 18.

⁷ Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. ⁸ He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree.

⁹ “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him.

“There, in the tent,” he said.

¹⁰ Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. ¹¹ Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. ¹² So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

¹³ Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ ¹⁴ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

¹⁵ Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”

But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

In that moment I felt like Sarah. I laughed at the promise of my children. Knowing full well, that God could do it. And right now I still sort of feel like Sarah. Even though my first God given promise is currently sleeping safely in her bed tonight. After being 1 cm. from literally falling from my womb and God held her there, she was delivered to me completely healthy and safe. For some strange reason, I still feel like Sarah.

God, tonight you know my heart. You know my doubting, scared, inadequate heart. You know what I've walked through, and you know I cling to only You. Even when I'm scared You'll let me down. I cling only to You. Because the Bible says You give and You take away. And tonight, as a scared, unsure, and immensely emotional mother I'm asking You to give. Give me peace, give me hope, give me confidence, give me this healthy full term baby, and more than anything God give me the grace to be submitted to You. All the time. No matter how I feel. No matter if it benefits me or not. Give me grace to do Your will. 

Bless your Holy and wonderful name. A-men. 

Motherhood. As told by Katie.

 Anywhere from 7:30 to 8:00 o'clock each morning, my alarm goes off. It starts out slow and low in tone. It almost sounds unsure if it should be going off. And then after about thirty seconds of the unsure fussing it begins to screech and scream. And I'm up.

I walk into the next room and a puffy eyed little blonde girl is sitting with her brows furrowed and her nose still red from being face down in her bed for eleven hours straight. She sees me walk toward her crib and she pulls her slobbery thumb out of her mouth, greets me with morning breath, and an open mouthed kiss.

 "Hi", she says. 

"Hi baby, good morning." I say back to her.

She giggles and lays her head back down on my shoulder as I carry her to the living room for cartoons and cereal.

She takes a few bites of her breakfast and jumps off my lap. The rest of the morning and the rest of the day she is climbing on the couch, playing with the dogs faces, making a disaster out of previously folded laundry, making another disaster out of breakfast, lunch and dinner, feeding goldfish to our two dogs, dancing, singing, and her new favorite past times burping her baby dolls, and picking her nose. 

She is a riot. There are a million words to describe her but none of them do her justice. She is the light of my life. She makes the laundry, the dirty diapers, the spilled cheerios, the dirty looks received from strangers as they watch my daughter shove a lollipop stick up her nose, and the outrageous screaming and kicking fits all worth it. The best thing about me is easily her. And I wouldn't change my life for anything more glamorous, ever.

 

I suppose I should mention here that I am pregnant again. If you follow this blog, you already know that. Now I know that pregnancy leads to children and children are the best thing EVER. That's why I got pregnant. Because I love children. But let me just say, pregnancy is one of the most difficult things women go through. Now if you are a cute and chipper pregnant person..well first of all I probably don't like you. (Calm down, I'm only kidding.) And second of all, you aren't who I'm talking about so you won't understand this. (And those of you are are chipper..I'm convinced every upbeat pregnant woman is a great actress. So quit lying.) I'm talking about 90% of women in the world who don't enjoy peeing 15 times a night, or stinking up their bedrooms at night farting non stop, or doubling over while sneezing due to round ligament pains, and who don't enjoy painful acne and emotional outbursts, or bloating to the size of a gray whale after every meal or sip of water. Those are the women I'm talking about. Women like me, who suck at being pregnant. 

I've gained already about 10 pounds in three months. Yes I know that's more than the suggested amount. Trust me, every time I look in the mirror at my chins, I know it. But still, here we are. Stuck on modified bed rest with a no exercise or heavy lifting restriction. Sounds like I'm going to be REAL cute at the end of all of this. Real. Stinking.Cute. :) Tomorrow morning I'm even going in for SURGERY to sew my CERVIX shut so that this baby doesn't fall victim to my stupid incompetent cervix. That's right. I need surgery to carry children, every time I get pregnant. (If you don't know what this is either Google it or read  my blog post Gracie's Story.) I am REALLY bad at being pregnant, and apparently I can't even help it. 

But fast forward to February 2013. Another baby, like the one in the first paragraph will be here. Another child that lights up my world, in only a way a parent understands, will be here. I will start over with a newborn. A child that poops, barfs, and screams for a million reasons. Each cry demanding something different from me. And night time will come and I will wake up every two hours to feed the baby and it will spit up on me, and I'll be too exhausted to change my shirt so I'll just wake up smelling like moldy cat poop rolled in newspaper and set on fire. And I'll love every minute of it. Because regardless of it's challenges and demands. I love children. And more than anything in the world, I love mine.